Everything I Want To Wear
Weekly Update, 6.8.2020

No fun weekly recap today, because your girl is emotionally exhausted you guys, I feel guilty about that but I am tired of seeing people who look like me killed in plain sight like they are nothing. I often look at the news and think, if this was happening to a dog, everyone would be so outraged right now. Do you realize how fucked up that is?

I am tired of the little things I have to do as a Black person in order to be “safe”.

  • Like making sure I don’t have a phone cover that’s dark, so people don’t think it’s a weapon.
  • When exercising outside, making sure I look “nice”, so that neighbors don’t see me as a suspicious person.
  • Along with that making sure I look pleasant, so that no one looks at me and get scared.
  • Trying my best to never be in a position where I might need help, because there’s a chance I may end up hurt or killed.
  • Being thankful that I don’t have kids, because now I would be even more traumatized. Yes, I am traumatized.

This list could go on for miles, this is my reality on the daily. Yet I don’t have hate in my heart for anyone. I am just tired and scared, because I don’t know how long will it be like that. I am scared that this world is still breading hateful people, that see black people as second class citizen that can be killed and hunted down without any repercussions. I would hate to be having these conversations with my black friends and family again in 20 – 30 – 40 years.

Unfortunately my non black friends, I cannot help you. This is your work to do, this is your journey. I can only hope you are taking the necessary steps to fix this in your own families/communities. I guess only time will tell.

As a blogger, I have been so disappointed in that community. Several have spoken up but a lot are going about their day like it’s nothing. Taking selfies and trying on clothes, you share every single thing you do, from your kids, daily habits, job, love life and so on. So talking about injustices is off brand ??? When you literally talk about everything else. If you don’t want to make your followers uncomfortable by talking about basic human rights, perhaps you need to take a look at yourself then at those followers. I know I am now more than ever conscious of who I follow, what they stand for and where I choose to spend my money. Several companies are currently on my shit list and I will NOT support them unless they change their ways.

The comments are closed on purpose because I don’t have the energy right now to deal. I said I wasn’t going to help you but we both know that’s not my nature. Check out this highlight by Ashley Spivey on how to be an ally or/and Rachel Cargle. If you are a parent, I’ve heard this is a great podcast episode to listen to.

tweet by Ijeoma Oluo

Also please do not message me to tell me you are not racist, don’t see color or anything of that nature, when you do that, your privilege is showing. Guess what? I don’t get to say I don’t see color, I see it every single day. I notice it when I’m the only black person or one of the few in any particular setting because I don’t have the luxury of ignorance. You see it is all very exhausting and please stop telling Black people how to feel or how to act. No you cannot imagine what it’s like, this little bit that I just shared is nothing compared to the atrocity and humiliation some black people had to go through. I am very aware that I am still very lucky to live the life I have.

Hope you’ll consider donating to support George Floyd’s family and the Minnesota Freedom Fund. Here is a long list of all the city where you can donate to help bail out protesters.

As always, I hope you are all well and healthy. See you all back on Wednesday and Friday for new posts.


Everything I Want To Wear
Weekly Update, 6.8.2020

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